Where Do Our Children Get Those Behaviors?

One realizes intuitively the moment the question is asked that behaviors, even difficult or challenging ones, are learned. Johnny doesn’t come out of the womb prepared to have a tantrum in the toy store. Little by little, the responses are layered on, and sometimes it takes a few years before families realize that things are definitely amiss. At times the family has accommodated the dysfunction to such a degree that it requires a school official or officer of the law to point out that little Johnny is creating many disruptions in class or otherwise in life.

A recent article in Archives of Disease in Childhood reported that the large number of hours that children passively participate in viewing television and computer screens, using tablets and smartphones, and playing video games contributes to lack of athletic prowess, obesity, cardiovascular disease, and Type Il diabetes. The important question is how did these children learn that this is an acceptable way to spend time? Who are their role models?

Look to Thyself

As hard as it is to own up to character flaws in oneself, usually the origin of difficult attitudes and behaviors is very close to home, so close that it is nearly impossible to escape the truth. With as much sell-honesty as a person can bring to the situation, a hard look at both parents usually highlights the beginnings of learned difficulties.

For example, is the child quite impatient? How many times have you lapsed into cursing when the line is too long at the bank or supermarket, or pounded on the wheel in the car when traffic becomes snarled? Does the child speak rudely to other children and to adults? Did the child witness your tirade at a clerk in a department store because you were not able to exchange an unwanted item? What does the child witness in conversations between parents and other extended family members?

As hard as it is to see the traits in oneself, that is the place to start making a change. Correct the unrealistic beliefs and behaviors in the parents, and the home atmosphere becomes more wholesome for the child.

Media Influences

In order to manage the stimuli that shape the child’s worldview, it is important to consider other influences, especially that of the media. Spend time with your children and adolescents, Viewing their favorite television shows, movies, and video games.

A recent study in Pediatrics magazine found that children up to the age of eight years old are exposed to television for an average of five hours a day. Imagine the messages of those shows and thousands of commercials going into the child’s brain repository. The disturbing conclusion from the research is that such a large volume of television input thwarts a child’s cognitive development and inhibits natural conversational patterns.

If they are very involved in a set of characters from books, read some of the books and ascertain whether or not the values are those that you want for your children.

Apply discernment to the media influences on your children and make decisions in terms of violence, sex, gender stereotypes, and role models presented in the stories. It is easy to be passive toward these things, feeling grateful that the children are pleasantly occupied for a few minutes so you can concentrate on something else, but when a child jumps off an upper bunk with a pillowcase as a cape, believing that he can fly, the reality of media influence gets your attention.

Computer-Based Programs

As adolescents are notoriously tech savvy, it is natural to expect that they would find computer-based therapy programs appealing and useful.

Computer therapy is not a replacement for face-to-face therapy, but it can be an option, especially when distance or cost is prohibitive for retaining a human therapist.

Specific Difficulties That Are Responsive to Computer-Based Therapy

Persons who stutter, one aspect of anxiety, have done well with computer therapy. Controlled trial studies have found that other types of anxiety are alleviated with computer therapy, as is depression. Computer-based therapy has also been shown to be helpful with generalized anxiety, social anxiety, facial tics, eating disorders, and procrastination. Computerized therapy programs are great for adolescents because of their natural inclination toward all things electronic, and they are useful for adults, as well.

Examples of Programs

Workbook Publishing, Inc. (www.workbookpublishing.com) offers an interactive media program to assist adolescents with anxiety. The twelve-session treatment program includes animation, interactive videos, illustra-tions, built-in rewards, and homework tasks.

The link for the Australian Association for Cognitive and Behaviour Therapy (www.aacbt.org) includes a resource page, listing a number of online, computer-based tools for mental health purposes. Some of these could be very useful for mature adolescents. They include the following:

1.   BluePages includes quizzes for symptoms of anxiety and depression, a list of relaxation exercises, and a list of helpful resources (www.blue pages.anu.edu.au).
2.   BlueBoard is a bulletin board and online support group for people struggling with bipolar disease, anxiety, and depression. It is strictly monitored for safety (www.blueboard.anu.edu.au).
3.   MoodGYM is a popular interactive program for preventing or alleviating symptoms of depression. Its effectiveness has been verified in clinical trials (www.moodgym.anu.edu.au).

These innovative online programs are suitable for adults as well. They could be a marvelous approach for mature teenagers working under the guidance of an individual therapist or parent.

The British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (www.babcp.com) offers further resources for persons wishing to use CBT online or with commercial programs:

1.   Overcoming Anorexia Online is oriented toward whoever takes care of the person with anorexia. This web-based interactive program offers support for the person who is helping the anorectic individual. The program can be found at www.overcominganorexiaonline.com.
2.   Overcoming Bulimia Online, offered at www.overcomingbulimia.com, provides eight sessions to assist the bulimic individual, including audio, video, and text instruction. This CBT web program was created by experienced practitioners.
3.   Virtual Reality Programs simulate conditions such as height, flying, and PTSD triggers in order to desensitize the user to the situations.
4.   Living Life to the Full is an interesting program created by a psychiatrist who has many years of experience helping people with CBT. The pro-gram, found at www.llttf.com, teaches important life skills, such as relationship work and improving sleep.
5.   Ultrasis, offered at www.ultrasis.com, offers computer-based therapy programs.
6.   Fearfighter is a web-based interactive CBT program, offered at www .fearfighter.com.

Many of the Australian and British online resources are free. Working with computer games or online resources is not a substitute for working with a CBT therapist or patient parent, but could be a valuable supplement, especially when other help is not available for various reasons.