It is important to become aware of specific fears and to stop running from them. The continual chase actually gives anxiety more power. A certain amount of objectivity about oneself and the mental and emotional processes that occur on a daily basis is necessary to become aware of fear.
This detachment is called metacognition, a good skill to practice during the course of creating a happier life, free of anxiety.
If vou suffer from anxiety, vou are certainly not alone. At some point in their lifetimes, about 29 percent of the population of the United States will experience intense and persistent anxiety. This means that about 87 million people have had, or will have, episodes of anxiety, making it a highly common form of human distress.
Normal Fears
Certain primitive fears have remained with human beings throughout evolution. Even infants are afraid of loud noises and of falling. This is part of the human condition, and quite normal. People have a built-in sense of self-preservation. If you see a snake, you jump back. If you are walking on a dark street and an ominous person is heading your direction, you move to the other side of the street or seek out the doorway of a friendly shop. If a car seems to be following you in an odd manner, you pull into a gas station and let the driver move on. Most everyone has an automatic, intuitive sense of protection that alerts them to danger, even if the nature of the danger is not quite known. There might be a physical response: rising hairs on the arms or back of the neck; the heart might quicken; the throat constricts; and the stomach lurches. This is nature’s way of taking care of you.
What Is the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety?
Fear and anxiety are related, but not exactly the same. Fear is immediate. Someone speaks to you in a loud, threatening voice, and you want to quickly move away or confront the person and tell them to stop. Anxiety has Self-preservation is a healthy human motivation. If you encounter a grizzly bear on a path in a national park or somewhere in the wild, you def-nitely want to come out alive. If you see a bear from a great distance, as a ranger describes its habits and behavior, you might be very interested, but not afraid
Anxiety has a strong component of danger. One genuinely feels threatened, as if the world or immediate environment is not a safe place. Sometimes other emotions, such as sadness, can be a lead-in to anxiety. I’s as if the negative door opens, the drawbridge lifts, and the yawning space allows the tall ships of deep anxiety to move forward. The common denominator is that there is an unrealistic component to the anxiety. It feels quite real, but what is deeply feared is not actually dangerous.
Log Your Fears and Anxieties
In order to use CBT to manage your difficult emotions, you have to have a clear idea of what situations bring them about. It helps to start a simple chart, listing the incident, your thoughts about it, your emotional response, and your behavioral response. An example of such an entry in your log might look like this:
You notice the balance in your bank account is a hundred dollars less than you thought it was. Your thought is “I made a stupid mistake. I wonder where I went wrong in my accounting.” Your emotion is fear, escalating into catastrophe, and your behaviors are double-checking your checkbook
It takes effort to chart incidents such as the one described in the previous paragraph, but after a few days, you will begin to see patterns. Your awareness sharpens and you can see that certain happenings escalate your anxiety and prevent you from having a relaxed, serene existence. You might be afraid of authority figures or institutions. A registered letter from the IRS instantly raises your blood pressure. You might be insecure about whether other people like you. Real or imagined snubs make you quite uncomfortable.
You are sensitive to the possibility of human loss. A friend is late and doesn’t call. You fear that he has been in a dire accident. You are afraid of not being perfect. Old, critical voices from the past chatter in your head.
Eric Berne, the originator of Transactional Analysis, believed that many people have an internalized Critical Parent, the voice that is always telling you what you should do, how you should do it, and where you are inept and without hope. These deeply etched voices help you become a well-behaved, law-abiding citizen, but some of the directives might be overly constrictive and punitive.
There’s no single right way to keep such a log. You might want to designate a particular journal for this chart or a file on your computer. The important thing is to be consistent and thorough for a period of time, enabling you to see the repetitive situations and categories that arise in your life.
