This post is all about how to not compare yourself to others.
One of the most difficult things in life is to see someone else with everything you have ever wanted. The individual has the career, the family, the home, the car, the life that you dreamed of. Maybe they have the looks or personality to attract anyone they desire. This can leave us feeling jealous and hyper focused on what we lack compared to them.
This feeling could even go a step further within our Christian community and have us envious of those who were blessed with a gift of God. It could be the ability to sing, or preach, or even a title or promotion in church leadership. We think to ourselves, “Oh that should’ve been me! I could do so much better! Only if God had given me that gift…” If we are not careful, this could begin to harbor unsettling feelings of resentment and bitterness towards that person.
How can we escape this common yet dangerous feeling? In God’s word, we are consistently warned against envy and told of all of its consequences on our spiritual and physical life. Finding contentment in anything is key (1 Timothy 6:6). Here are the top 5 ways of how to not compare yourself to others and find peace in God.
How to Not Compare Yourself to Others
1.God has a specific purpose for each of us
“And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:” Ephesians 4:11-12 KJV
When God created us, he had a plan. He knew us before the foundation of the world was created (Ephesians 1:4) and gave each of us a specific purpose and a specific gift.
The problem with comparing ourselves to one another is that it leaves no room for individuality. If we compare ourselves to each other, we are insulting the uniqueness God has given us. God made all of us different for a reason. We all grew up in different families, different environments, experienced different situations and developed a different personality and mindset on life. Once we recognize that the path of all of our lives are different in order to benefit each other, and not impede one another, we will find peace.
Just like the body has different members but they all come together to make a functional system, so are we (Romans 12:4-6). We cannot be in competition with each other because we have different roles and duties to perform. What God has for you is just for you, no one can take it away from you, and it beautiful, and wonderful, and not worth less than anyone else’s regardless of how it looks. Being secure in your own calling is crucial.
2. Envy distracts you
“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” James 3:14-16 KJV
Envy is one of the most subtle sins. Whenever it comes up in scripture, it is thoroughly discouraged and warned against, and is one of the greatest tactics the enemy uses on Christians today. Why? It gradually takes your eyes off of what God is currently doing in your life and places the attention on others. This is extremely dangerous because you truly have no idea what is going on in a person’s life or what they had to do to get where they are today. Maybe they had to do months of prayer, fasting, and hard work. Maybe they had the connections, relationships, and peer groups to get ahead. Whatever the method, their life is not your life and that is okay.
Learning to be comfortable with the plan God has for you is so important because it will save you years of bitterness and heartbreak. Not only is envying a sin, but it also takes a large amount of energy. Instead of focusing on how well others are doing in comparison to you, focus on what steps you can take to move forward in the direction of your own success.
3. Believe that the same God who did it for them, will do it for you
“Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.” Hebrews 13:8 KJV
“For the LORD God is a sun and shield: The LORD will give grace and glory: No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11 KJV
God is the same person yesterday, today, and forever. In addition to this, He also does not have respect of persons, meaning, God has no partiality or favorites. God loves us all the same. The same God who has blessed your brother to have the ability to preach, the same God can bless you to have a great ability! Will that gift be the same as the one he blesses another with? Not necessarily, but it doesn’t mean it will be any less valuable.
God will withhold no good thing from us. If it is in God’s will for our lives, He will bless us accordingly. The only thing that envy does for you is set you back. As you look on others, you will start festering hatred of where you are and what’s going on in your life. You will slowly begin to lean into the fantasy of the “only if” scenarios of your situation and get overwhelmed with what actually happened. You start to think, only if I had parents like hers, or only if I could sing like him.
Your vision and passion towards your goal becomes clouded with grief of a path that was never meant for you to have! God knows you, and what you can and cannot handle. He knows what is best for your life. Once you surrender it all to him, he can make something incredible and worthwhile, even with the mistakes and “bad” parts of your situation.
4. Pray for the change you seek
“And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13 NKJV
Another roadblock we encounter when we compare ourselves is murmuring instead of praying. We could easily find ourselves ruminating in displeasure in our hearts over what others have and we don’t. Instead, we should devote ourselves in prayer and seek God for what he desires specifically for us to have. When we fully immerse ourselves in his presence, we find that we are no longer desiring those things anyway! Jesus satisfies us with the riches of his love and joy and gives us a spirit of contentment. As cliche as it sounds, we truly find that Jesus is all we ever really needed.
Don’t let the things of this world (whether it be possessions or gifts from above) takes your eyes off of God and onto other people. We worry that we are not good enough, or successful enough, or pretty enough, or charismatic enough, to the point where we are obsessing over worldly/temporary things and making that the leader of our hearts. By doing this, we take God off of his throne in our lives and lose vision of our relationship with him. Our connection with God is the only thing that truly matters in this world. Money, careers, houses, beauty– all of these things will pass away. But when we hyperfocus on the things that other people have and we don’t, we make these things more important and valuable than they ought to be.
5. Patience is a virtue
“Wait on the LORD: Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” Psalm 27:14 KJV
Sometimes we envy others for becoming very successful at an alarming rate. There could be people who are younger than us or have less experience than us, who are further in their life or career than those of us who have been struggling for years! During this challenging time, we must understand that sometimes God is making us wait to teach us patience. There is so much to be learned in the process of waiting, and many times God is using this time to get rid of certain things that he sees in us that won’t be beneficial for us once we receive the blessing.
Other times, God is building certain things in us that need more time to grow and nurture. We do not all grow and learn at the same time. Perhaps those who are ahead of us have only succeeded in the short term, and because they did not grow the characteristics that you are currently developing, those individuals will falter and fail down the line and their success will not be sustainable. We do not know the plan of God in our lives, and we must exercise our faith in Him to know he loves us and he would only want the best for us. Trusting God is one of the most effective ways to beat envy and have peace in our hearts.
This post was all about how to not compare ourselves to others in God.
