New Affirmations

CBT in the form of affirmations can be a great help in your quest for a healthy weight and body image. You might find some of the following statements useful:

•   The world is a safe place for me.
•   There’s always enough.
•   I am in harmony within myself and with life around me.
•   I have a feeling of deep, calm security.
•   My thoughts, emotions, and actions support wholeness and health.
•   I respond reflectively, not reactively.
•   Every part of me is vital and beautiful.

Emotional Upsets, Stress, and Pain

Aaron Beck developed the concept of pain as a reaction to a series of emotional upsets. Worry and anger cannot be harnessed and studied under a microscope; however, many persons find that the onset of pain is preceded by a trauma of some kind. Sometimes the reverse can be true. As anxiety diminishes, so does the pain. If one is open-minded about these invisible relationships, one eventually loses confidence in the idea that physical symptoms are strictly physical. For example, one can imagine the beleaguered worker whose ulcer kicks up every time the

boss yells at him.

Although the relationship between the mind and body in terms of i-ness and pain remains somewhat speculative and controversial, some diseases have been more closely identified to mental states. These include ulcers, colitis, dermatitis, hypertension, and headaches. Some researchers would include cardiac disease as closely related to emotions and mental state.

Fibromyalgia

Persons with fibromyalgia find that there are often mixed or even doubting responses from friends, family, and even medical professionals regarding whether or not the diagnosis and disease are “real.” This puts a heavy blanket of shame, depression, isolation, and anger on the person with fibromyal-gia. If you have fibromyalgia, your first point of order is to not talk to yourself in the doubting, critical manner that others may be using. Say something counteractive to yourself such as, “I have fibromyalgia, and my symptoms and pain are real.” It might become important to shield yourself from those who minimize the challenges of your condition.

According to the site of The American Institute for Cognitive Therapy, approximately 80 percent of people who seek help for depression experience decreased symptoms when treated with a combination of therapy and antidepressants.

People who are vulnerable to depression tend to be those who have had a trauma in the past, making them more likely to overgeneralize about the seriousness of a new situation that has some similarities to that trauma.

They may overreact, make absolute judgments, and read extreme personal meaning into something that was not personal at all. For example, a desired partner is indifferent, and the depression-prone individual perceives the indifference as out-and-out rejection.

Some depression-prone individuals have perfectionistic standards for themselves, and their world collapses when the unreasonable expectations are not met. Other precipitating factors seem to be the ending of a relationship in which the one left was very attached to the other; failure to reach a coveted goal; loss of a job; financial reverses; physical disability; and loss of reputation. It is important to recognize that it is not the losses themselves that cause depression; thinking about them causes depression. If one views oneself as being only okay relative to these circumstances, their loss causes the house of cards to crumble.

Widen the Window of Tolerance

Daniel Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA School of Medi-cine, suggests that people differ in their range of responses to given life hap-penings. If the range is narrow, and something negative happens, the person can be thrown into chaos and depression. For example, a close friend dies, and what do you do? If the range of responses is slim, you may succumb to depression and sorrow, living in the past and going over shared times with the friend, to the point of refusing to participate in your current experiences.

A kind of resilience, or as Siegel terms it, “the river of integration,” allows a person to choose a response and go forward in a centered, rational way.

This is not to negate the necessity for grief. Life is full of demands and sudden changes. Resilience and personal choice allow you to not be at the mercy of passivity and negative thinking and feeling. Think for a moment of people who did very well during the Great Depression, founding companies and doing everything they could to meet their needs and the needs of their families and customers. During the present recessional times, some are doing very well, even if they have had to set aside certain careers or businesses and adapt to something new. People consolidate households, rent out rooms, or take on a second job. These are examples of resilience, and the underlying cognition is “I can do it. I’m a competent person, and I will figure out a way, no matter what.”

Seek Out a Present, Caring Person

The ability to trust another individual who will bare witness to your journey is a crucial factor in the ability to benefit from CBT when beating depres-sion. Your significant other (not necessarily a spouse or intimate partner) could be a therapist, close friend, trusted family member, or treasured men-tor. Knowing that the other person holds you in her heart is critical to benefiting from a close relationship.

It is difficult to change your inner schema without the help of another person who has the solid presence to support you along the way. Your chosen person has to have faith in you and not be dismayed when you strug gle or flounder. He or she believes that the growth process is desirable and a necessary part of life, regardless of how messy and unattractive. It may take weeks or months for the foundation of this relationship to reach the degree of mutual trust necessary for you to deeply change your thoughts. emotions, beliefs, and actions. Stay with it. You need a person who will continue affirming that you’re not crazy, even when you continue to feel crazy.

The practice of meditation greatly quiets the mind and makes the reg ular meditator less susceptible to the stresses of life. The daily quieting experience provides a healthy haven to which the person can return, instantaneously if necessary, without being caught up in the emergency of the moment.

The idea of attachment is central to the tenets of Buddhism. Attachment causes suffering and depression when the object of attachment is lost. What are some types of attitudes, mindsets, things, people, or situations that create attachment and suffering?

1.   Always getting one’s own way.
2.   The idea that a relationship will last forever.
3.   A mental construct, such as politicians should selflessly serve their constituency.
4.   “But we’ve always done it this way!” Difficulty with flexibility and change.
5.   Feeling abandoned when a favorite friend or relative dies or moves away.
6.   Addictive pleasures result in suffering when the source is removed.