More than likely there will be a discussion at the beginning of CBT when the client and therapist talk in detail about the nature of their work together.
Usually there will be an agreed-upon number of sessions at the outset with gentle reminders along the way, especially as the course of treatment is nearing the end of the number of weeks chosen.
If there has been no such clear agreement on the number of sessions, you may simply have an intellectual and emotional feeling of conclusion.
You may find that you don’t want to take the time for an appointment; you don’t want to continue paying for the therapy; you are missing appointments for frivolous reasons; or the circumstances of your life have improved and changed to a significant degree.
What Do You Say to Conclude the Arrangement?
Like any social relationship, you will need to be clear in your communication so that both parties know what is going on. As the final sessions are looming, you may want to say in a courteous way, as you would to any cherished friend, “I see that we are nearing the end of our time together. I have mixed feelings about that, as have gained so much from the work.” The therapist has feelings, too, and will value your acknowledgment of the mutual effort.
There’s no need to go overboard with gifts and promises of staying in touch, but there is certainly no harm in writing a heart-felt thank-you note to give your therapist at your last session. Everyone likes to know that he is important.
As this important relationship nears its end, you may want to think about your social circle and decide where you want more emotional closeness, making a sincere effort to round out your support system so that you are not left high and dry when your CBT is concluded.
Your Support System Post-Therapy
It makes perfectly good sense to take care of yourself in terms of having numerous people and groups interested in you and your life. There will undoubtedly be an ebb and flow as you move through adult development, and when one form of assistance concludes, another will become apparent.
Some of the following might be helpful to you when you have concluded your Cognitive Behavioral Therapy:
- Twelve-step programs
- Specific interest support groups (illness, grief)
- Adult education classes and hobby groups
- Church-affiliated groups
- Internet-based interest groups
- Friends
Don’t hesitate to spend the time that is necessary to initiate, cultivate, and sustain the relationships that support you in the direction you want to go. It may seem selfish to make the effort to spend time with someone simply because she makes you feel happy and cherished, but it is very much a part of your mental health to do so. This is as important as home maintenance or the 10,000-mile checkup for your car!
Checking Your Progress
At the beginning of your work in CBT, you and your therapist may start keep. ing records so you can understand your starting point and check back from time to time to compare. Often one is too close to the situation to really see any improvement. With careful notes, however, you and your therapist can celebrate as you move away from distorted thinking, feeling, and behaving.
Your system can be something quite simple, like foil stars on your planning calendar each time you do something beneficial for yourself, or it could be more elaborate, such as designating a special notebook or journal for keeping track of particular aspects of your life.
Sort Out Social Relationships
You may be in the process of sorting out your social life, trying to determine who is fully supportive of you and who is not. For example, you have coffee with a friend, and write down your mood afterward. Take the time to chart that information, and you may be quite surprised to see who lifts you up and who pulls you down.
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